Olimpya I

Interviewer: How old were you when you left for the US?

Olimpya I: I was small. I was around five or six years. I was in first grade.

Interviewer: You were in first grade?

Olimpya I: Yes.

Interviewer: You grew up in Mexico City or somewhere else?

Olimpya I: Yes, here in—

Interviewer: Here in Mexico City.

Olimpya I: [Affirmative noise].

Interviewer: Why did you migrate?

Olimpya I: My mom used to have a lot of domestic violence problems with my dad. So normally, we would be leaving the house, and come back, and come and go. But one day, my uncle, who’s an American citizen, came to Mexico for a vacation. It was in the meantime when we were out of the house. So my mom saw him. They talked about what was going on, how he can help, and one day, my mom said, “You know what? We’re leaving.” So we grabbed a couple of clothes, shoes, and we left.

Interviewer: Just like that?

Olimpya I: Yeah. One day to another, we were already on the road. [Chuckles].

Interviewer: Wow.

Olimpya I: Yeah. We were on the mobile home with my uncle and his family. We were setting off to Ciudad Juárez. So that’s why basically.

Interviewer: As a child, was it scary for you at home?

Olimpya I: It was kind of confusing because I was happy because they told me about Disneyland and all this stuff. I was really happy about that, but then you look back, and you’re like, “My dad, my sisters, my house, my toys, my things, what’s going to happen?” I was happy during the day because I wouldn’t think about it, but at nights, I used to have really bad dreams about it, about leaving my dad, about everything.

Interviewer: So, it was just you who went with your mom?

Olimpya I: No. My two brothers and I.

Interviewer: So, somebody stayed behind though? You say your sisters?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Well, I got two more sisters and two more brothers. They’re older. But they’re not my mom’s. They’re my dad’s, but we grew up together, so we’re really…

Interviewer: I understand. I understand. So it was really hard to leave all of this behind.

Olimpya I: Yes. But as a kid, you don’t think about it. You just, in your mind, you have it there. You know it’s there. I know because, for a whole year, I used to have really bad dreams where I used to wake up crying. My mom would be like, “What’s going on?” I’m like, “My dad, my dad, my dad.” She’s like, “But it’s already a year.” I was like, “I don’t know. It just comes out.”

Interviewer: Do you remember some of the nightmares?

Olimpya I: Yeah, I remember one that it’s like really stuck in my mind. It’s really weird. The day we left the house—it’s the same house where my dad lives right now, so it’s on the avenue. I remember my mom, she had a truck, I don’t know who give it to her, to take out our stuff. I remember I was sitting on the back looking like this and seeing my dad. Then I start crying. That’s a dream I can’t forget about. I don’t know why, but it’s there. [Chuckles]. It’s just there.

Interviewer: Yeah. Did you have contact with your dad when you were in the States?

Olimpya I: Yeah, but not that much. At the beginning, it was really weird to talk to him because my mom didn’t want him to know that we were over there, so it was once a month maybe? Then after that, we tried to contact him, but he was working or with his new family and this lady wouldn’t let us talk to him. Every time I call, she would say, “Ah, he’s not here.” I could hear his voice on the back, so I was like, “I know he’s here.” So she wouldn’t let… so things like that.

Interviewer: A lot of people have told us about domestic violence. Why do you think there’s so much domestic violence?

Olimpya I: Culture.

Interviewer: Tell me. What do you think? Say more.

Olimpya I: Well, here in Mexico, girls or women, we’re raised to serve. We’re not raised to think or do something on our own because it’s dangerous for us. But it’s weird because if we stay at home, it’s dangerous as well. [Chuckles]. Men here think that we are weak, that we’re not able to, that we’re not capable. So they don’t let us do what they think we can’t. That’s basically it. And since we’re raised by Mexican women. So, me as a woman, I have a son. I need to teach him how to respect and let a girl be, but all girls here, they’re not the same. They think, “No, you’re a girl, you need to serve. You’re a boy, they serve you.” Then the daughter-in-law comes, and then she’s like, “No, you need to serve my son. You need to do this for my son.” So it’s education basically, ignorance.

Interviewer: So, do you think differently? I know I’m getting ahead of everything—

Olimpya I: No, it’s okay.

Interviewer: —but it’s interesting. Do you think differently because you grew up in the States?

Olimpya I: Yeah, but I have both cultures. My way of thinking is really weird because I am very domestic. I love to cook. I love to take care of my son. I love to take care of my husband. I love to take care of my house. But if I need to go work because my husband needs help or anything happens, I’ll do it. I don’t mind. I can work. I know how to do this. I know I’m really smart, and I know I’m capable of doing. I know I can do things on my own, but if there’s no need to, I can stay out. [Chuckles]. That’s what I want, not because they’re forcing me too.

Interviewer: But you also talk about raising your son differently.

Olimpya I: Yeah. Yeah. My son is in first grade, so he is about the age when I left. Last week, he came to me. He’s like, “Hey, mom. I need to tell you something, but you’re going to get really mad.” I was like, “Okay. Tell me.” I thought he did something bad. He’s like, “I’m in love.” [Laughing]. So, I was just like, “Hold on. I was expecting something else.” So he’s like, “I’m in love.” I’m like, “Okay. That’s not bad. I’m not going to get mad at it.” “Wait, mom. It gets worse.” I’m like, “Okay.” “She’s in third grade.” [Chuckles]. So, I was like, “Okay. She’s old for him,” but inside of me, I thought about it, right? I was like, “Okay. I’m not going to tell him ‘No, you can’t, because you’re too small, because she’s a girl. She’s too big.’ No.” I was like, “Okay. That’s fine. She’s a girl. You’re a boy. What’s the problem?” He’s like, “Are you sure?” I’m like, “Yeah. You like her. Be nice to her. Buy her a chocolate, a rose. Be nice. Respect her.” So, he looked at me and he’s like, “Can I write a letter for her?” I was like, “Go ahead.” So instead of teaching him to not respect girls since he’s that small, it’s like turning it around. Respect her. If you like her, respect her. That’s it.

Interviewer: That’s wonderful. That’s a wonderful story.

Olimpya I: Yeah. [Chuckles].

Interviewer: So just on that, what’s it like to have a son who’s the same age as when you left? Does it bring you back?

Olimpya I: Yeah, it brings me back memories because I see him and I see a lot of me in him. I know some mom and the dad, but when I see him, I’m like, “Hey, I used to do that,” or, “Oh my God. I used to do that. If we were in the States, he could do this or that. He could be better.” Sometimes it hurts because I know there’s something better for him, but I can’t give it.

Interviewer: What would he be doing if he were in the States?

Olimpya I: Well, the schools, they’re better. They teach you more things. They actually teach them. That’s what I used to like about the States. The activities. Here, it’s really hard for a single mom or a mom to take your kids to any activity because the ones that are for free, they’re really bad, and whenever you have to pay, it’s hard to access even if you don’t have to pay that much. The ones that are really good, it’s not affordable for middle-class families. So it makes you get mad. Well, it makes me get mad because I’m like, “Hey, he needs to have access to this. He’s a really intelligent kid, and I’m not giving him the tools to grow, and to learn, and do everything he’s going to be able to.” Yeah, it’s hard.

Interviewer: He was born here?

Olimpya I: Yeah, yeah. When I came back after, I think five, six years, I had him.

Interviewer: So, tell me about growing up in the States. What was that like?

Olimpya I: Growing up in the USA was awesome. [Laughs]. Yeah, it was the best years of my life. Right now, I can sit down and think about it. I was happy. That was what being happy was: like, having your family, the family that you love there for you, and you being there for them. Everything that we went through, it was awesome. I can say we were poor because my mom, she was a single mom with three kids, she had three jobs. We barely see her, but the times that we were sitting down at the table eating together, it was the best times of our lives or a Sunday, we could go swimming. It was just great. We enjoyed life more than here. You have to work, and work, and work. You’re never going to get what you’re looking for.

Interviewer: What kind of jobs did your mom have?

Olimpya I: Factories. She used to work in factories in morning and then at afternoon, and then during the night. It was really weird. [Chuckles]. She used to sleep around one hour a day, one or two hours a day, go work and come back. It was really hard for her.

Interviewer: So, who raised you?

Olimpya I: Well, my grandpa and my grandma. We didn’t live with them, but they lived next door. So they would check on us. My aunt and uncle, I lived for a really long time with them. Basically, they used to help each other a lot. If my mom wasn’t home, they would check on us and if they weren’t home, my mom would check on them. They would help a lot.

Interviewer: How was school?

Olimpya I: Great. The best. [Chuckles]. I used to love school there because I remember you—in the morning until 3:00 in the afternoon, something like that—will actually learn. I was really bad at math. I know that. [Laughs]. But I remember in middle school, there was a teacher that will give afterschool classes for the ones that needed help. So I would stay. You would see me the whole week there, an hour, two hours, studying, studying, studying, but I will actually learn. I went from an F, [Chuckle] because I was really bad, to a B+ in one month because I was actually learning. I used to play the violin. I used to play basketball. I used to love all those activities that you got in school. I was happy in school. If I would live there, I was happy.

Interviewer: You were an American kid.

Olimpya I: Yeah, I was happy because I would get to do everything I wanted to. If I wanted to play football, I would play football. If I wanted to do this, track days, everything, I could do it because it was there for me. [Chuckles]. I used to like it. I would just get home, eat, finish my homework, and then go to another activity. So I was always busy, always busy, always busy. I don’t know. That would keep my mind going. Here, you barely get physical education, so imagine the change. [Chuckles]

Olimpya I: [Laughs]. I was a happy kid. No, because even though we were a small family, like my mom, my brothers, my aunt, uncle, cousins, and my grandparents, we were very unite. We used to love to spend time with each other. My aunt, she’s like my angel. It’s really fun because we were born on the same day.

Interviewer: What’s the day?

Olimpya I: In June 29.

Interviewer: Soon, you’re having a birthday?

Olimpya I: Yeah. It’s our birthday. [Laughs]. So, we were born on the same day, and we didn’t know it. We were just like, “Huh.” But she used to take care of me a lot. If she would see me doing nothing, she was like, “Oh, come here. I’ll teach you something.” So she would pull me a lot to everywhere. If it was vacations and I was at home alone—because my brothers were already old, and they’re guys, so they’re doing their thing—she would be like, “Hey, come to my house. Stay here for the vacations,” and I would go with her. She’s a Christian, and they got a lot of activities on vacations like Bible school, this, and that, so I used to love going over there. She started pulling me and pulling me until one day she told my mom, “Hey, she’s growing up. She needs to have somebody that takes care of her 24/7. You work a lot. Let her live with us. She’s your kid. You can see whenever you want, but let her live with us. We’ll give her everything that you can’t give her at the moment.”

Olimpya I: So my mom said, “Yes,” and it was the best decision she ever made because my aunt, I was her daughter. I’m still her daughter. We call each other. We talk a lot. She saved my life because I was already starting to go with the girls. I was in sixth grade when I moved in with my aunt. I remember that they were already starting with the girl gangs, and all that stuff, and fighting. I didn’t like it because I was like, “Hey, why fight? We can play. We can do something else.” [Chuckles]. But, no, they liked to fight. So they will be fighting and if you wanted to be their friends, you had to do it. I remember one. The first fight I went to, I was standing in the back. [Chuckles]. So they started fighting, and I was like, “I’m just going to leave.” Then the police came, so everybody started running. I was like, “Why are you running?” [Chuckles]. I would just sit down, and I was just like, “Okay. Well, I’m not doing anything. I’m just sitting down here.” They came. Then they asked me, “What was going on?” I was like, “They started fighting. I was sitting.” Since they saw I wasn’t scratch or anything, they were like, “Okay. Just go home.” I remember that fight because they ripped out an earring. There was a lot of blood. Then somebody bite somebody’s eyebrow, and I was like, “What?”

Interviewer: Bit somebody?

Olimpya I: Yeah. I was like, “What? What are you doing?” So it was really scary for me, and I didn’t like it, but you have to do it because you want friends. If you don’t do it, they’re going to do it to you. That’s when my aunt came in, and she’s like, “Come with.” She saved that part of me.

Interviewer: So, did you find another group of friends?

Olimpya I: Well, yeah, when I went to live with my aunt, it was a whole different story because I used to live in Pomona, California. It’s a really Hispanic town.

Interviewer: Okay.

Olimpya I: We used to live there. Then my aunt used to live in Temecula, California. It’s a really nice little town and really American. So, when I got there, I was like, “Hey, I like it here.” [Chuckles]. When I got to school, also the kids were different, there weren’t gangs, and I was able to choose my friends. My aunt always used to make fun of me because I used to have all types of friends, Americans, Mexicans, Korean, Japanese, everything. You would see me with my friends, and you would like [Chuckles]. Because you see, normally, they separate the Mexicans from everybody else. I would speak with everybody. I wouldn’t care.

Olimpya I: My aunt would be like, “Why don’t you go with the Mexicans or just one group?” I was like, “No, I can learn from everybody. You can learn from everything.” I like how African Americans talk, and how they act, and how happy they are. Then you also turn around and look at Americans, and you see how nice and educated they are. They talk about music. They talk about really cool things. Then you go with my Korean friends, and they teach me how to draw. You can learn from their cultures and the way they were raised just by talking to them. That’s amazing for me. That’s why I used to like.

Interviewer: Wow.

Olimpya I: So I was happy. Then my aunt would be like, “Okay. If you can speak Korean and understand it, it’s your problem.” [Laughing].

Interviewer: Did you learn Korean?

Olimpya I: No, I couldn’t.

Interviewer: Oh.

Olimpya I: I really tried. I tried really hard, but since I was really trying to learn English because first, so I was like, “Okay, it’s hard.” [Laughs]. But I kind of understand because my friends didn’t speak English really well, so we were like, “Uh.” We make hand signs so it was fun. [Laughs].

Interviewer: Did you finish high school?

Olimpya I: No.

Interviewer: What happened?

Olimpya I: My first year of high school, I almost finished it, but my mom decided to come back. She said that it was time. I was like, “It’s your time, not mine. You can leave.” [Laughs]. Yeah, but she said that she didn’t want to be there anymore. Since I was underage, so I had to grab my stuff. It was kind of the same way that we came. One day, she was talking on the phone. Then she woke me up and said, “We’re leaving.”

Interviewer: So again—

Olimpya I: We start all over.

Interviewer: All over again.

Olimpya I: Yes.

Interviewer: How old were you?

Olimpya I: Around fifteen?

Olimpya I: Yeah. It was hard because I don’t know if it’s a lot of years that I lived there or not, but I had a life. I had friends. I had family. I had school. My life was there. I didn’t know anything about here in Mexico. I know I was born here, and it’s my country, and it has nice things, but, hey, it’s not my house.

Interviewer: Did you have dreams of what you were going to do? What were they?

Olimpya I: I wanted to go in the army.

Interviewer: In what?

Olimpya I: Army.

Interviewer: You wanted to join the army?

Olimpya I: Yeah, that was my path.

Interviewer: Why?

Olimpya I: I wanted to serve the country that has given me a lot, the best thing that I lived. I just wanted to do it [Softly]. I thought it was a nice way to thank for everything that happened to me while I was there, for the protection because I was protected. Because I know people are scared of the police because we are undocumented and everything, but every time I saw a police, I was like, “Hey, thank you. You’re taking care of me.” [Laughing]. And the firefighters, I was like, “Hey, you’re the best.” Every time I saw somebody dressed in the army uniform, I was like, “Damn. I want to be them. Just want to look like that. I want to do that.” That was my biggest dream.

Interviewer: But you were undocumented. How did that feel?

Olimpya I: Being undocumented? I didn’t think about it. I never thought about it. I was just living my life, being happy. [Chuckles]. I don’t know if I was too small and I didn’t see more than my little world, that it was going to be hard for me to join the army or it was going to be hard to me going to college, I was just live in the moment. I never thought—nobody asked me about my papers, none of my friends, family, nobody. I was just there being me in America. [Laughs].

Interviewer: So, you had to come back.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer: What’s it been like?

Olimpya I: Hard.

Interviewer: Tell me a little bit about that.

Olimpya I: [Chuckle]. It has been since day one. I remember I used to live in California. You know California has the best sun ever. [Laughs]. I used to live in the pool. After school, pool. I remember I got really dark. When I came back, it was around summertime, so I was really dark. I got here, I got out of the airplane, I saw my dad and my two sisters. When they saw me, the first thing they said was, “Hey, you’re dark.” I was like, “Yeah. Hello. [Laughing]. What’s the problem?” They’re like, “No, we need to buy some creams to lighten your skin and we need to…” I was like, “Hey, I like my skin. I’m bronzed. I’m from California. What are you talking about? I’m brown. I’m Mexican. What are you expecting? [Laughing].” So, it kind of hurt. At the beginning, when they said it, I start joking about it, but inside of me, I knew it hurt because nobody in the United States, nobody said something about my skin color before—

Interviewer: Wow.

Olimpya I: … or about anything about myself. Nothing. If I was short, they would be like, “Hey, you’re really cute. You’re really short.” They would compliment the way I am. And here, it was the opposite. They would be like, “Hey, you’re really short. Hey, you’re brown. Hey, you’re… I don’t know. I don’t like you.” They would be like that, and it was starting from my family, so it hurt. I was like, “How come in a country where I’m not like them, they wouldn’t say nothing about me? And here, they’re attacking me?” You know? So that was the first hit. I didn’t want to come at all. I was like, “Hey, mom. You go back and you let my aunt and uncle… They’ll adopt me. They’ll give me the papers, and I’ll go visit you.” That was the easiest way for me, but she said, “No, you got to come back with me because if you don’t come with me, they’re not going to accept me back in Mexico.” Like my dad, at the house.

Interviewer: Oh, but didn’t your dad have another family?

Olimpya I: It’s really weird. [Chuckles]. I was like, “Hey, but I don’t want to go back with you.” So she made me come back. Once I get here, I see my family. They do that to me, and I was like, “Ugh.” So I started getting mad inside. I didn’t like anything. When I got home, I was like, “Hey, this thing is really small,” because, in the States, house are really big. And here in Mexico, they’re really small apartments. I was, “Hey, where am I going to live? I need my space.” So I started being really rude. I started being a bad girl.

Olimpya I: Then they said, “Okay. You need to study. You’re going back to school.” I was like, “Okay. At least, I get to have more friends, right?” Once I go to school, they signed me up, I was like, “Mom, you’re not going to leave me here. They’re going to do something to me. They’re going to kill me. They can kill me or violate me. This is not a school.” It was a really, really, really bad school. If you look at a jail in a school, that was my school. [Chuckles]. They didn’t have windows like this. I don’t know. It was bad. The principal, for some reason, she said that I came to Mexico as an exchange to study. So they thought I was an American girl like tall, blond, blue-eyed girl, and that wasn’t me. [Chuckles]. Once they present me at school like that, and once they saw me, they were like, “You don’t come from the States.” Like, “Well, I do. I wasn’t born there, but I do come from the States. I basically come from there.” Like, “No, you don’t. You’re just a Oaxaqueña.” Start calling me names again, “You’re brown. You’re short. You’re skinny.”

Olimpya I: I don’t need to be like another person to come from the States. You need to understand that. Thousands of people go to States to have a better life, and then they need to come back. Why are you being so rude if they don’t treat us like that? If I’m at my home country, why you being so rude? They start calling me really bad nicknames. They’ll start stealing my stuff, my backpack, my books, everything. I would go to the bathroom, come back, and I wouldn’t find my notebooks. I was like, “Okay. Just give it back.” Then since they noticed I wouldn’t respond to that, they would start getting aggressive, getting in front of me, calling me names, saying bad words and stuff. I would just turn around and leave. Since I wouldn’t respond to that, they would start getting physical. They would pass by and push me or punch me or do something. Once I got mad because I was sitting down studying, they came and pulled my chair from the back. I fell off, and this girl started punching me. So I was like, “Hey, I need to protect myself now.” So I did, and I got expelled because of that.

Interviewer: So how did you protect yourself?

Olimpya I: I hit her back. [Chuckles].

Interviewer: So, what you watched on the streets, the gangs, you took on the—

Olimpya I: I basically… And I was mad.

Interviewer: You didn’t do it in the States, but you did it in Mexico.

Olimpya I: I was really mad because I had so much things on me on that moment, and it was so hard that I was like, “Oi. Fuck it. I’m just going to go and do what I have to do. I’m not going to let them hit me.” So I hit them back. She got really bad because I hit her really bad. Since I didn’t have stitches or anything, I was the one that got suspended and they didn’t do anything to her. I was like, “I was just defending myself.” It was like, “I don’t care. You did this.” “I did it, but why? You need to look at the background. Why did this happen? They’re calling me names every single day. They’re doing this. They’re ripping my books. They’re hitting me. They’re pushing me. They can’t do that to somebody and expect to just stay there.” They didn’t care. The principal was like, “No, you’re suspended. You’re leaving.”

Interviewer: What happened?

Olimpya I: I spent a week at home. My mom was really mad at me because she said I was taking everything in a really bad attitude, that it was just an attitude problem because I wanted to go back, but it was impossible. I was like, “It’s not that. It’s just that you don’t take me in consideration. You don’t see what’s going on in my life. You’re not looking at everything. This is not a place for me. If I was saved once by my aunt that keep me from everything that’s going on right now with me, I shouldn’t be going through this. She did so much for me, so I didn’t have to go through this. And look at me where I am. The school is horrible. It’s a jail.” I can show you. Well, right now, it’s not that bad because they fix it up, but when I was there, it was horrible. [Chuckling].

Interviewer: Was that here in Mexico City?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Every time I pass that because I live really close, and every time I pass by the school, I get really mad. I still have problems with that because it’s like… It gets me really mad. I was an excellent student in California and here, when I got here, I barely passed the year. It would get me frustrated because I was like, “Hey, I already saw this back in the States. This was third-grade things.” I’m like, “Come on,” but I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t do it even though I knew I could, and I knew it. It was really frustrating for me. I was just—

Interviewer: How many years ago was this? How old are you now?

Olimpya I: I’m twenty-six.

Interviewer: So, you came back when you were fifteen?

Olimpya I: Yeah, around eleven years, yeah.

Interviewer: Wow. How come your English is still so good?

Olimpya I: [Laughs]. I practice a lot. I used to work in call centers.

Interviewer: Yeah, but still.

Olimpya I: Yeah. [Laughs]. Then I talk to my aunt, my uncle, my cousins, my brother, and—

Interviewer: You talk to them in English?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Yeah, we try to keep it in English, so I can still practice. When I used to work, it was everything in English. So I try to practice a lot.

Interviewer: Did anything get any better?

Olimpya I: I think I changed my attitude a little bit. I said, “Okay. If I’m going to stay here, I’m going to do everything so when I’m older, I can leave this place.” [Chuckles]. That was what I was always thinking about. After I finished middle school, I went onto high school. I was studying tourism. It was really cool, but then I got some friends that weren’t really nice. [Chuckles]. So, I remember that’s when I met alcohol. The school was really open. They wouldn’t check on your backpacks. They wouldn’t check on you like, “It’s your responsibility to come to school, stay in school, and do your work. It’s not ours. It’s yours.” Basically, what we used to do in the mornings, we had to be at school at 5:00 AM because we used to cook in the morning. Then around 7:00—we had, 7:00 to 8:00, a break. So we would call breakfast, but most of the time, when we would go breakfast, we would buy beers or stuff like that, and put it in cups and stuff. We would go back to school and be drinking during classes. So by 12:00, we were drunk. [Chuckles]. We wouldn’t do anything. We would just be, “Yeah, yeah.” Trying to study, but not doing nothing at all.

Olimpya I: By the time we would leave the school, we would go eat and get drunk again. Basically, that year, I was really drunk the whole time. My mom, she noticed that, what was going on. She said, “No, I’m taking you out of that school. It’s too expensive and you’re not doing anything. You already flunk every single class.” I was like, “Okay, no. Cooking class is good.” She would get mad at me, really mad. She’s like, “No, you’re going to another school, not so expensive, so you can value what you have. Come on.” So she signed me up in another school. It was less money where she used to pay. The kids were other level. It wasn’t beer. It was tequila. It was everything you can find. [Chuckles].

Interviewer: It was, yeah.

Olimpya I: But then, I met this guy who is my baby’s dad. He was from the best kids there were because you could find worse. He would be like, “No, go in your classes. Be good. You’re a lady. Don’t do this. Don’t do that.” So I was like, “Hey, he’s protecting me.” I found somebody to protect me, to look after me. So I started listening to him, and I tried to finish school, but then I got really sick. I had a weird sickness in my blood, and I couldn’t go to school no more.

Interviewer: What sickness did you have?

Olimpya I: I don’t know what it’s called in English. It’s Trombocitopénica Púrpura-

Interviewer: Thrombosis—thrombosis of something, yeah.

Olimpya I: Yeah. My blood is like water. Be like water. Then if you touch me like that, even if you go like that, you will see a big… I don’t know how you say moretón. Bruise?

Interviewer: Bruise.

Olimpya I: Yeah. I will get a really big bruise even if you go like that. So I had to stay in bed for a really long time, and I got medicated. I couldn’t go to school. I lost a year. Then I tried to go back, and then I got pregnant. I was like, “Okay. This is not for me.”

Interviewer: How old were you when you got pregnant?

Olimpya I: Nineteen. Yeah, nineteen. Then I got pregnant. I was like, “Okay. I’m just going to take care of my son, my family. I just want to have a family like my aunt’s family in the US.” That’s what I wanted. I started working on that. I was really happy at that moment. I was pregnant. I was going to have my kid. I had my husband. He loved me. Everything was perfect, but then, this president with his political things came with the reforma energetica.

Interviewer: Yeah, the energy reform.

Olimpya I: And screw everything up for his family and for everything. So—

Interviewer: What do you mean? Why did the energy reform—

Olimpya I: This reform, whenever they change presidents, everything in Mexico is stopped for a really long time, about a year. My boyfriend’s family, at that time, used to sell… How do you say tubos?

Interviewer: The tubes.

Olimpya I: Tubes for Pemex, the ones they use to transport everything.

Interviewer: Petrols, yeah.

Olimpya I: They used to sell those big tubes to them. So once the person came, they stopped everything. They were fine because they knew what’s going to happen, but then he said, “Reforma energetica.” They stopped it for a really long time more. So they didn’t have the money. They weren’t working no more. They didn’t have enough money to survive to that. So until the time right now, they haven’t sell anything to Pemex. Pemex is not buying nothing. That’s already what? Six, seven years ago.

Interviewer: So which president are we talking about?

Olimpya I: Peña Nieto.

Interviewer: Okay.

Olimpya I: So this guy comes in, screws everything up for everybody because we’re not the only family. We know families that they were millionaires. And right now, they don’t have a peso. So problems come out on our side. We don’t have money. We have to go live with his parents, and his mom is not the best person ever. She’s a really Mexican woman like, “You have to do this, this, this.” [Chuckles]. I’m like, “I’m pregnant. How can I explain to you?” Because I got pregnant again. After two years, I got pregnant. She would be like, “Hey, take that clothes upstairs to hang because I can’t, my knees hurt.” And I was like, “I’m pregnant. I can’t carry and go up five levels of stairs. I can’t.” So she would make me do it because I was living at her house. I had to clean, cook, do everything for everybody since I was living at their house, and she wouldn’t do anything. Then on top of that, when I used to feel bad like headaches or something like that, she would be like, “Hey, no. Wake up. Get up. You need to do this.” Like that. I don’t know if I was weak, [Chuckle] if I’m a weak woman or not, or it was too much what I had to do in that stage, but I ended up losing my baby. I lost my kidney. I lost both of my kidneys.

Olimpya I: I lost my kidneys and so I was sick. I’ve just been trying to survive. I don’t know if I learned or I just decided not to do more than I have to, to survive because whenever you try to do the best you can, people don’t think the same way as you. My baby’s dad don’t think the same way as me. I don’t know if he doesn’t want the family that I want or worse. We don’t have the same culture. When I started working, he used to get really mad. He used to get really jealous. He would be like, “Hey, no. Don’t talk to this person. Don’t talk to this person. No, you can’t do that.” Then I got ascended, ascent? Promotion.

Interviewer: Promoted.

Olimpya I: Promoted. I got promoted at my job, and he got really mad. He was like, “Why? It’s more…” I was like, “It’s less time. It’s more money, less time. Think about it.” He was mad.

Interviewer: So, are you still together?

Olimpya I: No. Well, kind of. [Chuckles]. We used to fight a lot. His mom, even though I was working and giving all my money to our home… So we used to fight a lot because, even though I was working the whole day, I had to come back home, cook, clean, and do everything that a Mexican wife should do. Cook, clean, look after the kid, everything. They would say I would do nothing. I was sick, and I had to do everything. They didn’t work. They didn’t do clean. They wouldn’t do anything. They would be attacking me all the time. His parents, him against me. So I just let it happen. I was just like, “Oh.” Just do what I have to do for my kid.

Interviewer: So, do you ever think of going back to the States?

Olimpya I: Every single day of my life, I think of going back to the States.

Interviewer: Do you think you might?

Olimpya I: Yes. There’s more time than life. That’s something I want. I just want, even if it’s for a day, just go back, step to United States, look around, and remember everything that happened to me there. I’ll be happy. I’ll be happy because I miss my house. I miss my family. [Emotional]. Even though I got most of my family here, it’s not the same. They don’t care about you. When I needed my kidney transplant, because I need one, and my mom told my family that if anybody wanted to donate, nobody answered. Nobody said, “Hey, I can’t, but I’ll pray for you.” Nobody. They just changed the topic. When I told my family in the States that I needed a kidney, my smallest cousin, he’s around eighteen, he said, “Hey, I’ll give it to you” right away. It makes me feel like I don’t need to see you every day to be family. You’re not my family. My family is in the States. They are my family. They love me. They care about me.

Interviewer: So, you’d like to go back and live there? Would you still join the army?

Olimpya I: I can’t. [Chuckles]. If I could, yes. If I could, I would do it with the eyes closed. I’d be like, “Hey, I’ll decide. I’ll sell my life. I don’t care.” If that’s going to give my son a better life, I would.

Interviewer: Do you tell your son about the U.S.?

Olimpya I: A lot. He wants to live there too because we go to the parks here. There’s only one park that we like here in Mexico City. It’s really close our house because the other ones are really bad. They don’t have grass. It’s like, “You know what grass is, right?” He’s like, “Yeah, I want to see grass, Mommy. I want to see grass.” [Laughing]. I’m like, “Okay. Let’s go find a park with grass,” because they don’t have grass. The playground is destroyed. It’s bad.

We later interviewed Olimpya again in 2022.

Interviewer 1: We want to acknowledge that we know some of the questions that we’re asking. If you might not want talk about or might be challenging to talk about, we want to make sure that you feel comfortable answering everything. So please only say what you’re comfortable with.

Olimpya I: Okay.

Interviewer 1: But to start, tell us a little bit about what’s changed over the past three years, since we’ve talked to you last.

Olimpya I: A lot. Well, when I talked to you guys last time I was still married. Right now I’m not married anymore. He decided that I wasn’t the person that he wanted to be with. So he just left. And well, after that my health got worse. I had to get two surgeries and I couldn’t work. I couldn’t do anything. I wasn’t even able to walk anymore. It was two, three long years for me, but finally, I’m doing better right now. I’m coming up again.

Interviewer 2: That’s good. Can you talk about the divorce and the surgeries? Is that okay?

Olimpya I: Yeah. That’s okay.

Interviewer 2: So how has the divorce been on your mental health? How you’ve been managing that on your own?

Olimpya I: Well, at the beginning it was hard, because it was like at the same time when I was getting worse on my health. So it was like I felt left behind. So, it was really hard for me. I was at the point that I didn’t want to keep on fighting for my health. I just wanted to let it go everything and just die. I understand his point of view. He didn’t want to be with somebody like me at that moment. I wasn’t a good person because I was always mad or feeling bad. However, I do feel like he was mean. He was a mean person to me. He hurt me a lot mentally. The surgeries, it was a long process. It took me a year, almost two years for the aims to glue them, because first they thought it was cancer. And then they didn’t know if it was cancer. They wouldn’t do the labs. And so they would bring me back and forth, back and forth. And basically I was bleeding all the time.

I was really skinny. I’m skinny right now, but I was worse on that moment. It was a whole… Like a hurricane of emotions inside of me. Actually one day I went to… They were going to tell me when they were going to do the surgery. And this doctor said, “You know what? This is cancer and I’m not going to do it.” So you’re going to have to go somewhere else. And at that point I had like a breakdown. So I started crying and screaming and like… It was really bad. So they had to take me to a psychologist so they can help me calm down because I was like… My nerves were all the way to the top.

Interviewer 1: Have you been able to have more support from your mom and your son? Has that been helpful?

Olimpya I: Yeah. My son. When I was in the process of getting divorced or separated, I was still living at my ex-husband’s house. So the only one that will help me, because I was on dialysis and they had to change the bags at night, because I will do my dialysis at home. The only one that will help me go to the bathroom, change the bags, take a bag, everything was my son. He was the one that will help me do everything, because I couldn’t walk. I would like get up and faint. So he would help me on everything. Get my food. Yeah. He was the one that would take care of me. Then my mom came and picked me up and she was like, “You’re not staying here anymore. You’re going with me.”

Interviewer 2: And how old is your son now?

Olimpya I: My son is nine.

Interviewer 2: That’s very impressive.

Olimpya I: Yeah. Actually I would cry because I will see how he would carry the bags and put them and connect them to the machine. Or he will be like, “Hey, you need to go to the bathroom. I’ll take you.” And he will pull me up and take me to the bathroom, wait outside the door. And we will be asking, “Are you okay? Is everything okay? Do you need anything?” Also, when I will take a shower, he will put a chair inside the shower. He will take me, sit me down. And they like, “I’ll be sitting right there. Scream whenever you’re ready. I’ll come get you.” So he will do everything for me.

Interviewer 1: That sounds incredible.

Olimpya I: Yeah. He’s great.

Interviewer 2: And so how long was that process? How long until you started entering your recovery?

Olimpya I: That was two years. And then this last year is when I started, like I got my surgeries. I switched two hemodialysis instead of dialysis. So everything has been getting better right now.

Interviewer 1: Do you think any of that treatment would’ve been easier, had you still been in the US?

Olimpya I: Yes. Well, I got more family there. I believe people are more humanly.

Interviewer 2: And how do you think that experience has impacted your son?

Olimpya I: A lot. Yeah. He’s not like every other kid. He’s like a little man. He’s always looking out for me. He’s like, “Where are you going? When are you coming back? Are you feeling okay? Did you have your medicines? Have you eaten already?” He’s always on top of me. He wants to know I’m okay. And he takes more care of me than of himself. Sometimes I talk to him and I’m like, “No, you need to take care of yourself. Just let me do what I need to. Just take care of yourself. Think for you, if you need something, just let me know. I’m your mom? You’re not my dad. I’m your mom.” And so we have a lot of fights because of that, because he thinks, well, since I gave him that spot, now he thinks it’s his and that’s why he’s supposed to be doing.

Interviewer 2: But it’s most of your fights are for because of the love for each other.

Olimpya I: Yeah. And I told him, “I’m not going to be here all the time and you can’t be taking care of me all the time. You need to do your study. You need to study, you need to play, you need to grow up. You need to learn what a kid needs to do. Not want not to be taking care of me all the time.” So, he tries to be all the time with me, but I try to, “Okay, you need to be more independent, because the day I’m not here, I don’t want you to suffer my absence.”

Interviewer 1: Is he part of the reason you’re thinking about going back to the US?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Because I want him to live the kind of life that I had. Because here, Whenever he wants to go play outside, I can’t let him go outside because it’s dangerous. You never know if they’re going to take him or if something’s going to happen to him. So he gets bored. He can’t go outside with kids or stuff like that. And the parks here, I don’t like them. They’re not okay for kids. If you go to a park, you will see trash, glass, everything. And I just want him to experience that the schools, everything.

Interviewer 2: Is he in school right now?

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 2: What grade is he?

Olimpya I: Fourth.

Interviewer 2: Does he come off as more mature than the rest of kids in his group?

Olimpya I: Not really. That’s funny. At home with me, he’s really mature.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: But then he goes to school and he is like, he likes to play. He likes to scream and he is like… He’s a normal kid.

Interviewer 1: Have you told him any of… What it was like for you growing up undocumented? Does he understand that? What does he think about it?

Olimpya I: He wants to live over there with me.

Interviewer 1: Okay.

Olimpya I: I don’t know if it’s the way I talk about United States or what he’s seen on pictures and stuff like that. I told him, “I used to go to school and then I used to practice violin. And then I used to go to karate. And then I used to go to church and I used to do this.” And he’s like, “And why can’t I do it?” I’m like, “You can’t do it here. It’s not the same.” I can take care of karate, but it can take this… but it’s not the same that it was over there. He saw pictures of me camping, doing a lot of stuff that we can’t do here. So he has the idea that he does want to let’s just go just for vacation or something. He wants to go to the United States to see what’s going on over there.

Interviewer 2: And by the time he’s old enough, do you think there would be enough change? That could be a possibility.

Olimpya I: I hope we can go. If it was for me, I would go right now.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: Right now I can’t because of his dad and everything, the papers, my health. I think that could be a… Yeah. It could be a possibility.

Interviewer 1: You mentioned that a lot of your times were also returning migrants. Is that something that you ever talk about together or have any of them gone back?

Olimpya I: Yeah. I have a lot of friends. I already went back and back and back and forth. How do I do it? I want to do it. Yeah. Most of my friends. They do want to go back.

Interviewer 1: Okay.

Olimpya I: We have the same mentality. It doesn’t matter how, we just want to go back.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: Some of them already went back. Like two or three times and got deported again.

Interviewer 1: Oh, no.

Olimpya I: But they still tried. Some got lost by the way. We don’t know what happened to them. Like two or three of them. We know they went back but I don’t know what happened.

Interviewer 1: Does it help to be able to talk about it together?

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: Is that something that is easier to talk about with other people who are thinking about it or who have returned?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Because some other people don’t understand. For example, my brother, we used to live both in the United States.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: He didn’t like it. But when we came back… He came back first and then my mom said to come back with me. And whenever we were talking about United States and how we lived there and what we used to do, and he was like, “I’m not going back. No, I don’t like it. It was boring. You can’t do anything. It was dangerous.” I’m like, “Huh, where we used to live together.” But if you talk to him, we have two different answers. Completely different. It wasn’t the same for both of us. So, whenever I talk to my friends that actually didn’t want to go back and actually liked it and still speak English and still try to live their life as much as we used to live over there. It’s easier. You feel okay.

Interviewer 2: Did you have any specific experiences that made your thought process different from your brothers?

Olimpya I: Yeah. What happens is that we went together with my mom, but when I was around 11 or 12, I don’t remember. I went to live with my aunt and uncle. They used to live in Temecula, California. And my mom used to live in Chino, California. So it was two different places to start. So my aunt would make sure that I would practice my violin, go to Interviewer 1te, go to church and do all this stuff that will keep me busy and like that. And he will be all the time with my mom and my mom will be working. He was already in high school. There were gangs, there were all that stuff. And he was a guy. So, it was different. I’m a girl. I had a different raising and he was a guy. So he had to deal with other guys.

Interviewer 2: Do you ever think about… Do you see with your friend groups that like these, that the gender is conscious with a specific trend? Like you were saying, since your brother was a guy, he had different experiences, is it the same with your friends that you know?

Olimpya I: Yeah. I’ve met a lot of guys that would tell me the same. They would tell me, “They will pressure you and make you do things that you don’t want to do.” And I was like, “But that didn’t happen to me.” Well, it happened with some girls when I used to live in Pomona with my mom. But I was like, but if I said, no, it was no, keep going with your life. But guys, they don’t take no. They will pressure you. They will make you do it. They will hit it. They will do this. They would…

Interviewer 2: Who was doing the pressuring? Was it just guys and gangs, turning other guys?

Olimpya I: Yes.

Interviewer 2: Can you talk a little about that?

Olimpya I: Well, they just told me like… Because I was wondering, because once I was talking to my brother and he will be like, “No, they will pressure you to enter a gang or do something that you don’t want to.” And then when I met my returnee friends and stuff like that, I would ask him, “Is that true?” And they were like, “Yeah.” They would say, “Yes, they will pressure you.” One told me that somebody tried to make him kill somebody else to enter the gang or something like that. I was like, “Really?” “Yeah. And I was only 15.” That’s what he told me. So, when he told me that I understood my brother, because I was like, “Well, you weren’t living in a nice place and well you were alone with my mom and you didn’t have the same life that I had.”

Interviewer 1: Does that make you nervous about potentially going back with your son?

Olimpya I: Not really. Because I know already where.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: Yeah. I’m not going to take my son back to Pomona. I’m going to take him somewhere like San Diego. Yeah. Somewhere nice, not the ugly. Yeah. But even though it wasn’t that bad. Well, for me it wasn’t that bad.

Interviewer 2: Do you have any places in the US that you really want to visit, if you did go back?

Olimpya I: Yeah. I want to visit New York. I want to visit the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas Bay, Nevada. I don’t remember. And Florida.

Interviewer 2: Sounds like you knew places to go to.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: So thinking a little bit more about your return to Mexico, what that was like. I know you mentioned mental health services as being something that would be really helpful to that you struggled with. Like say, you get to design, what that looks like. What do you think would be the most helpful?

Olimpya I: If I get to design it, like-

Interviewer 1: Yeah. You get to create the program.

Olimpya I: It would be in schools.

Interviewer 1: Okay.

Olimpya I: Because it’s where we spend most of our time when we were teenagers or kids. It will be in schools and basically it will be making the school safe. Trust me, when I got here, I didn’t feel safe in school. So that was hard for me because I once told you guys, when they put me in middle school here, the school was ugly. It looked like a jail, literal. It wasn’t nothing like middle schools back in the US. And it will start with bullying because I was really girlish. Even though I was already 15 years, I would like wear my ponytails. I don’t know if you remember Hilary Duff and Lizzie McGuire.

Interviewer 1: Mm-mm (negative).

Olimpya I: Lizzie McGuire. You never saw this. How old are you?

Interviewer 1: Oh like with Hilary Duff.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: Yeah. Okay. A little bit, but it was a little bit older than me. So I little.

Olimpya I: Okay.

Interviewer 1: I like cartoons.

Olimpya I: That was me (laughs).

Interviewer 1: Okay (laughs).

Olimpya I: I used to love that girl. So I would dress like her. And all my clothes that I brought back from… It was like that in here they wouldn’t dress like that. It would be like older girl my age. Okay. So, when I got here I used to dress like that. So they would make fun of me. So the place where I thought I was going to… Okay, this is going to help me.

Interviewer 1: Right.

Olimpya I: And overcome this and get used to Mexico, it wasn’t the place that I expected. So yeah. If I get to assign something, I will make first of all, school safer.

Interviewer 1: Right.

Olimpya I: And then I will put the psychological help in school.

Interviewer 1: When you also get back, did you tell people that you had come from the US? Could they just tell on their own? Or was that something you tried to like keep a secret?

Olimpya I: I tried to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t. Because I did speak Spanish, but it wasn’t good. And then I had this little accent. I don’t know. So when I was like, “I wouldn’t talk.” So I wouldn’t talk to anybody and they would get mad then would we go, “How you think you’re all that?” I just don’t want to talk. And then when I started talking, they were like, “Wait, you don’t speak Spanish and you speak funny. And you…” And I was like, “Oh.” And then I couldn’t remember words. And I was like, “Oh.” And I tried to say them in Spanish. And they would think I was showing off or something. So they would get mad at me and then they would hit me. And I was like… So, it was really hard.

Interviewer 2: Since the last interview, have you felt like you’ve been able to blend in more?

Olimpya I: I’m sorry.

Interviewer 2: Since, the last interview, have you felt like you’ve been able to blend in more?

Olimpya I: Yeah. I have.

Interviewer 2: What’s changed.

Olimpya I: Well, right now, I don’t have that accent. I speak more English, not in Spanish. And I changed my mentality. Yeah. I do miss United States. I do want to go back, but this is where I’m right now. And I got to be happy where I’m at and think about today not tomorrow.

Interviewer 2: Is that accepting your situation? Is that part of it to help your son feel more at home to become part of the community?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Because if, well, it’s they say, “If you’re not a happy mom, you won’t have sons or daughters.” And I wasn’t happy at the moment. I was trying to be happy, but I wasn’t. So with everything that happened, this three years I’ve been working on that part of accepting and living the best of what I have right now. So yeah. And I’ve seen the change in him because he’s also happier. He says, “Well, mom, it’s not that bad here.” I know it’s not bad. We’re okay. We thank God we have a roof, we have food, we have everything. But I know we can do better.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: But right now, it’s what we have and we’re happy with it.

Interviewer 2: And so what are some other things that you’re working on as well.

Olimpya I: On myself?

Interviewer 2: Yeah.

Olimpya I: There was a time where I forgot about myself and everything was my house, my husband, my kid. It was all I care about. And I left my medication, my treatments and I was like, “Oh, I’m okay. I can live without them. I need to do something for my son or I need to do this for my husband.” And after that I was like, “No, you need to be okay. You need to feel okay.” Okay. And so I started taking all my treatments again, taking care of myself. After that, I was like, “Okay, I can’t go out, if it’s not with my son.” And my mom said, “No. You need to go out by yourself. You need to do your things.” So that’s what I’ve been working on. On feeling pretty again, because I didn’t feel pretty at all a year ago. Liking the way I am, because my marriage took that away from me.

I couldn’t do things I liked because I thought it was bad or they thought it was bad for me. Or they would say, “You shouldn’t behave that way because you’re a mom. You’re a wife.” So right now I’m learning that. It’s okay to be myself. It’s okay to be a mom. It’s okay to laugh, to dance, to go out sometimes. It’s okay to feel pretty. It’s okay to dress for yourself or wear makeup. So that’s what I’m working on right now.

Interviewer 2: What led you to that realization? Because that’s usually something that it’s like a switch that’s just first. So what is that for you?

Olimpya I: One occasion, I was talking to my ex-husband. He said that he wanted to try it again and I wanted to try it again also. But he only wanted to have his son close to him, not me. And so we were talking and trying to fix things up and but then he said, “You’re dying. I’m just waiting for that.” And that hit me really bad.

Interviewer 2: I’m so sorry.

Olimpya I: That’s okay. I realize everybody’s dying. You don’t know when you’re going to die. You can’t die tomorrow and you’re not even sick. Everybody’s dying. I’m not the only one. And yeah, I’m sick, but I’m still not dead. So that’s what opened my eyes and said, “You’re not dead yet. You’re still not allowed to go. You’re still have a son to fight for and yourself.” So that’s basically what…

Interviewer 2: That’s very impressive. Takes a lot of strength to do something like that and even more so to realize that you have to do it for other people too.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: Looking back at the last 15 years since you came back, are you proud of yourself?

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: I think you should be.

Olimpya I: Yeah. I still got a lot to do and work for. However, I think I’m not doing that. I think I made mistakes like everybody else, but I think I still have life and I got time to get better and better. But right now I’m okay. I’m proud of myself.

Interviewer 1: If you could go back and talk to yourself 15 years ago, what advice would you say?

Olimpya I: You’re not alone. Don’t fall for the first guy that makes you feel loved.

Interviewer 2: If you could change something from the past, what would it be?

Olimpya I: I wouldn’t go back with my mom. I would’ve stay with my aunt. That’s where… Every day I would stay with my aunt. Yeah. Because I went back with my mom because my brother came back to Mexico. So my mom was alone. So I was like, “Oh, she needs company.” So I went live with her and then a month after that, she’s like, “Hey, we’re going back to Mexico.” So that’s what I would change.

Interviewer 1: Are there parts of the US that you find yourself missing the most, day to day?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Church. Basically church. Sometimes school. Because it was like… Right now, I go back and I was like, “I was really happy.” That’s when I felt happy. Like really, really happy.

Interviewer 1: Yeah. How was church different here versus in the US.

Olimpya I: Church back there, it was a family.

Interviewer 1: Okay.

Olimpya I: Yeah. It was really a family. If somebody who will get sick, everybody will help them out. Make sure they get better and take care of kids, everything. Celebrate birthdays, everything that needed to be celebrated, it was celebrated. It was my family. That’s what I miss the most. My church family. Because they will always be there for me. Even though, I used to live with my aunt, everybody will make sure that I was okay. How are you doing school? Do you need anything? How do you feel? They will talk to me. They will. Yeah. They were like a lot of parents do for me.

Interviewer 1: Are there parts that you really don’t miss?

Olimpya I: No. I missed church, but everything was… It’s the life that I wanted to. Well there.

Interviewer 2: So in your last interview you talked about, if you had the opportunity you would serve in the US army.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 2: Or do you still feel the same way?

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 2: What kept that fire burning?

Olimpya I: Well, basically in my family, my dad used to be in the military, my two older brothers also. So we have that kind of in the family. Also in the United States, I saw how they serve and you look at them and they’re admirable in the work they do and what they go through. So that’s basically why it caught me my attention. Right now, here in Mexico, actually my son wants to go into the military, here in Mexico. Yeah. So it’s kind of in the family.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: I’m just waiting for that moment to see him serve as well here. That’s his plan.

Interviewer 2: I’m sure you feel really proud to see him do that.

Olimpya I: Yeah. We’ve talked about it a lot of times. Actually here in Mexico every year they do like a… What’s it called? I forgot the word.

Interviewer 1: The parade.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: Okay.

Olimpya I: With all the Marines and everybody.

Interviewer 1: Oh, wow.

Olimpya I: And the helicopter is everybody’s flying. And then after that they do… And at the sacalo they do like an exposure of everything that they have. So every year we go and we take pictures and they have the information about the schools and stuff like that. And every time he sees the Marines, he’s like, “I might be one over here.” So, he’s ready. He says, “That’s our goal.” Because he thinks it’s mine too. “That’s our goal. And I’m going to do it. And you’re going to be part of me.” He says, “You’re going to be sitting right in front to see me walk.” And I was like, “Okay.”

Interviewer 1: Has he also heard about it from your two brothers and your family members who served?

Olimpya I: Yeah. My brother used to jump from the territory bridge. They used to do that. Right now, they’re talking of race, but that’s what they used to do.

Interviewer 1: This is kind of off topic, but I wanted to ask you, so you mentioned that you feel safe, that now you feel safer. What has cause that change? Do you just feel like you’re like more comfortable or you know more or maybe you’re-

Olimpya I: I know more. Because before I will be like 12:00 AM at the street talking. Feeling safe with the cell phone. Right now, I know that I shouldn’t. I know where I should go. What times? What should I do? To look behind me? So I know more.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: You’ve learned so much since you’ve been back and I know right. To talk to other people who have come back, do you think that there were more community spaces for people who were returning, so that you could meet with people who were returning more recently and you could talk about different experiences. Or you had people to ask questions too, when you came back, would that be helpful?

Olimpya I: Yeah. A lot. Yeah. When we used to be at the other non-profit, we try to do that. If somebody will come back, we try to go pick up at the airport, get them some shelter, food, clothes, and somebody… “Hey, you need to move around. You need to…” Okay. He will tell you, he will teach you. So we will try to help out like that. Right now, I haven’t been in touch a lot because of everything that had happened in my life. And I don’t know what happened to that non-profit. But even though we try to help each other, with the friends that we know right now, “Hey, you need something.” Yeah. We try to connect each other.

Interviewer 2: Do you think call centers play like a huge role in that?

Olimpya I: Yeah. Because it’s a place where you meet people Who… Basically who speak English. Who have gone through similar situations and they understand you.

Interviewer 2: So I want to talk a little bit about the family you still have in the past.

Olimpya I: Sure.

Interviewer 2: You said a couple that they visited.

Olimpya I: Yeah.

Interviewer 2: When was the last time they did that?

Olimpya I: My grandpa and my grandma, they visited last year, November?

Interviewer 2: Is that while you were still in recovery for the surgeries?

Olimpya I: I already had the surgeries. Yeah. I was recovering.

Interviewer 2: How long did they stay?

Olimpya I: Two weeks. Yeah. They were here for two weeks.

Interviewer 1: Has it been helpful for your son to get to know them more as well?

Olimpya I: Yeah. He loves him.

Interviewer 1: Yeah.

Olimpya I: Well, yeah. Because my grandpa also plays music and sing. So whenever he comes, he’ll teach him a little bit. And also he’s a grandpa… He likes to play with him. He teaches whatever he can.

Interviewer 2: So what instruments does he play?

Olimpya I: The piano. The guitar. And what else? Something else? I don’t remember something else. Basically the guitar and the piano.

Interviewer 2: And you said when he comes, he teaches your son how to do it. Did he do that with you as well, when you were younger?

Olimpya I: Not really. Because when I was younger, he had to work and do his stuff and I would be in school. And so we wouldn’t like even talk a lot.

Interviewer 2: So at one point, did you guys become closer.

Olimpya I: Right now, when I’m older and he’s free? Yeah. That was when my grandma died. That’s what I told my mom. It’s funny how right now we have a better connection than when I was smaller. Because when I was young, we will be fighting all the time. I will be fighting with my grandma. She will be screaming at me and I will be screaming back and all the time fighting. And the last time she came, it was different. We got to talk like two adults. It was totally different. And even with my grandpa, we got closer, he would show me his pictures and tell me like, he thought I understand more of what he was talking now than when I was small. So it was nice.

Interviewer 2: Are there any future plans to continue these visits?

Olimpya I: Right now, not at the moment. My grandpa’s still at the hospital because of COVID. Yeah. I told you my grandma died on January 2nd. They both got COVID. They came to Mexico, they went back and two days after they got there, they got COVID. So they took them to the hospital and they spent all the time at the hospital. My grandma died, my grandpa still at the hospital recovering. He still got the little thing that they put here.

Interviewer 2: He got the surgery?

Olimpya I: Yeah. And also one thing that feeds him. A little thing that feed him. And so hopefully in about two months he’s going to be out of the hospital, but we still got to see how he’s doing the recovering. So right now, I don’t think they’re going to be coming.

Interviewer 1: Would you envision like your next two years for you and your son? What are some of the goals or plan that you have?

Olimpya I: I want to move out of the city. It’s not so far, but it’s not in the city. Yeah. That’s basically what I want to do. I want to get a house over there and try to work. I really want to work again. I know I’m not able to work like a normal person, but I do want to do it.

Interviewer 2: What are some of the things that are drawing you to move to that place?

Olimpya I: The traffic. It took me two hours to get a here. And it takes me two hours to get anywhere from my house, like to the doctor’s appointment and stuff like that. It takes me two hours. So basically it’s the traffic though. It’s not far. It’s just the traffic that… And in my mental health, because if I still live here, I still got to see my son’s dad and he keeps him trying to make me feel bad. And I just want to get away from that.

Interviewer 2: That sounds likely to be the best for you and your son.

Olimpya I: Yeah. If I could have go far away, but I need my mom and my dad.

Interviewer 1: Those are all questions that I have. Well, would you have any last… Anything that you’d like to say before we end?

Olimpya I: Thank you. And well, I hope these help some other girls that feel the same way that I do, because that’s the problem. Most of the girls, we feel alone and we look for the first person that loves us and we make a lot of mistakes. So I hope girls that are 15, when I came back… Or any other age, feel connected with my story and make better decisions.

Interviewer 2: Thank you so much.

Olimpya I: Thank you.

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