Daniela I

Mexico City, Mexico

Daniela I

June 10, 2019

Interviewer: I wanted to start by just thanking you for coming to talk to us. I feel like your story could be painful and if it is I’m sorry that you have to recount it but I think it’s important to hear everyone’s story about your time in the US and coming back. Can you tell me a little bit about the circumstances behind your immigration to the United States?

Daniela I: Yeah. So I immigrated when I was about three years old. The reason why we left was because my dad would hit my mom. She was in an abusive situation, he was an alcoholic so she did have family in the US. Her older brothers were in the US. So they helped her and took her over there. We ran off, my little brother and I and her and my older sister. We all went to the US, two brothers stayed in Mexico.

Interviewer: With your father?

Daniela I: No. They had a different dad. So they were older, they lived in the city. We lived in Michoacán, Mexico, that’s where I’m from. Well, basically, I’ve been there since three and then I came back when I was 17 years old.

Interviewer: How old are you now?

Daniela I: I am 24.

Interviewer: So you’ve been back seven years?

Daniela I: Yeah I’ve been back about seven years now.

Interviewer: Where did you settle when you were three years old?

Daniela I: We were in Chicago, a suburb right next to Chicago and right on the border of Illinois.

Interviewer: Great. So you must have come without any English language skills and you learned in school or how did that happen?

Daniela I: Just in school I learned pretty fast with my cousins and with my friends. About a year or two it took me to learn English.

Interviewer: And how was school?

Daniela I: School was great. Best memories ever.

Interviewer: How far did you get in school?

Daniela I: I was in high school. I did halfway through junior year and I completed high school when I got back to Mexico.

Interviewer: So tell me about school in the US.

Daniela I: Well, my teachers, my friends, I feel like they were really involved in everything. I pretty much got everything I needed. Since I was little I was kind of blind so through school I got my tests done and all that kind of stuff. So I feel like it was a good experience, it was a lot of fun.

Interviewer: And you said you had one sister and one brother that came with you?

Daniela I: Mm-hmm (affirmative). An older sister and a younger brother.

Interviewer: And your mom.

Daniela I: And my mom.

Interviewer: So she was supporting you alone? I know you said she came to see her brothers. Did you all live together?

Daniela I: Yeah, it was all of us. So my mom, my sister and me and my little brother. When we came back my sister stayed because she has two kids now, they were born over there. My mom supported all of us. She worked in construction in my uncle’s company. I guess that’s what paid her more so that’s how she could support us and give us everything we needed. And so basically over the years she started getting sick. She had signs of arthritis. She wasn’t able to afford living in the US anymore.

Interviewer: She couldn’t work?

Daniela I: Yeah. And she couldn’t get any other job that would do the trick. So my brothers in Mexico here, they were settled, they have money. She would send them money and they started their careers so they told her just come here with them and we’ll help you out. So that’s why we’re here.

Interviewer: So her brother, who is also from Mexico, had his own company?

Daniela I: Yeah. Construction, painting and all that.

Interviewer: So she could work there without getting papers and that sort of thing. That’s a tough job, though, construction.

Daniela I: Yeah, she was a tough woman.

Interviewer: She was a tough woman? So did you feel like home life, was it tough? Was she around a lot or were you alone much?

Daniela I: Right. I mean, she was around. When she would get home she was tired from work so it was mostly my older sister that would go to, sometimes, parent-teacher conferences when she couldn’t. So she wasn’t able to be with us that much but she was a great mom.

Interviewer: How much older is your older sister?

Daniela I: She’s like three years older than me. She’s 27, 28 right now.

Interviewer: So when you were in school did you do extracurriculars like art and music and sports?

Daniela I: Yeah. I was really into track, cheerleading, and I would always do hip hop dance and things like that.

Interviewer: That’s really cool. And you had lots of friends?

Daniela I: Yeah, lots of friends.

Interviewer: Lots of friends. Was it tough for you when you left?

Daniela I: Yeah. I was pretty much depressed for a year or two here in Mexico and I didn’t have any friends or anything like that. It was really tough.

Interviewer: How about the language? Was that difficult?

Daniela I: Not that much. I knew enough Spanish.

Interviewer: So you came back and you said you finished high school. Did it take a while to make the transition to the new school?

Daniela I: Yeah. I knew nothing about Mexican history and things like that. And the way they do things here are just so different. The way they handle school, there’s so many other things, subjects that they teach, which I had no idea about. And I was just like oh my God. So it was pretty tough. I didn’t really care much for having good grades, I just wanted to pass and move on with what I wanted to do, which is basically interested in photography.

Interviewer: So how long did it take you to get through high school?

Daniela I: It took me two and a half years. I would just take exams and occasionally go to school.

Interviewer: You didn’t have to go to school?

Daniela I: Yeah, on Saturday and Sunday school situation.

Interviewer: So more continuing education? You could work during the week?

Daniela I: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Interviewer: I see. And it was more just passing these exams?

Daniela I: Yeah because they basically didn’t really take into consideration that I had studied a few years. They were just like you have to start from the first year of high school here.

Interviewer: So you basically did ninth through 12th grade in two and a half years or something like that?

Daniela I: Yeah but I just took exams. So if I just passed the exam … It was like 55 exams. Small. That’s why it took me so long.

Interviewer: And you studied on your own?

Daniela I: Mm-hmm (affirmative). They gave us books and we studied. I mean I passed with bare minimum.

Interviewer: But it’s hardly school.

Daniela I: Yeah, it’s hardly school. I just passed.

Interviewer: Well it’s good you passed. So what do you miss about the US?

Daniela I: My family. Mostly my cousins, my sister. And, like, I don’t know… I was just safer. I could be out at night and be safe. Over here, right now I’m going to hang out with my friends after here and I basically have to go home before it’s dark just so I can feel safe walking from one block. So one block where the bus leaves me to my apartment, just so I can feel okay and safe. I want to make it before it’s dark. So I don’t know, I just like the safetiness that we have over there.

Interviewer: Did you leave a lot of friends in the US?

Daniela I: Yeah I had a lot of friends. I had a boyfriend. We did a three year long distance relationship after I got back and he would come visit me every break he had. He went on and studied college, he studied engineering and whatnot and he would come visit me on every single break he had. It was pretty nice but it was pretty hard and sooner or later it just kind of broke off.

Interviewer: Sorry. So when you were in the US, what were your dreams?

Daniela I: I always wanted to be a dancer, that was my everything. But I was always really interested in photography. And makeup, that kind of stuff. I’ve always had multiple things I’ve been interested in. Never really set my mind on a career so I guess I’m still kind of like that but I’m trying to learn more photography right now. I stopped dancing because I’m like I’m a little too old now.

Interviewer: Did your photography interest start in the US at school?

Daniela I: Yeah, with my friends always taking pictures of little animals, little cute bugs or each other.

Interviewer: That’s fun. So back here, as you said, you’re thinking about photography. Careers in photography, what does that mean? What will you have to do?

Daniela I: Well I have a friend who does a course I just need to be able to afford it. He’s done shoots for Maxim Magazine Mexico and things like that. And I think I’m just going to take it for now as a hobby, not as really a career, just something I can do on the side and if it turns out to be bigger, that’d be great. I want to study something but I’m still not too sure what. And I’ve kind of just been putting it off since I didn’t do it right away after high school.

Interviewer: So did you ever get in trouble back in the US?

Daniela I: No. Not really. I mean, not legal trouble. My sister did though, she was in a lot of trouble.

Interviewer: Did she get associated with gangs?

Daniela I: Yeah, my older sister did and I kind of learned from her. I was like, I’m not … But she did. She was in a gang and she would always come beat up or she would get into fights and things like that. It was pretty bad. And she was still responsible with me and my brother but it was tough for my mom to deal with that with her so I learned. I was like no, I’m not going to go through that. I was the good one.

Interviewer: So when we talk to young women who come from Mexico to the US as children, often they’ll be associated with gangs, but often they get pregnant at really early ages. I don’t know if you saw that at all.

Daniela I: Yeah my best friend was pregnant at like 14 years old.

Interviewer: So how did you escape that? What do you think was different for you?

Daniela I: I don’t know. I’ve just never been under that mentality of having a kid. And I learned through the speeches of don’t do drugs, when they would go out I’d be like, “No, I’m not going to do drugs.” I do drink now, which I said I never would. I like it a lot but I kind of learned. Why would I get pregnant? I’m scared of pain. I think it was mostly that, I’m just terrified of pain. I haven’t been to the doctor. I don’t really go to the doctor unless I absolutely need to.

Interviewer: I see. Scared of pain, childbirth seems way too much.

Daniela I: Yeah.

Interviewer: So do you think that going to the US made you different than you would have been if you never went?

Daniela I: Yeah. I think by now I would be married with a bunch of kids or something. Because I was from a ranch so people there just got married as soon as they turned 18 so I probably would have had a bunch of kids by now.

Interviewer: A lot of pain by now.

Daniela I: Yeah, a lot of pain by now.

Interviewer: Did you know you were undocumented when you were living in the US?

Daniela I: Yeah I was pretty embarrassed about it. I would never admit it.

Interviewer: So it’s hard to-

Daniela I: Yeah, I’m like I’m never going to be able to study college, just community college. Maybe I’ll be a makeup artist because I was like how can I study without papers? Everybody’s going to get to go to college and I’ve always wanted that experience, going to college, studying. I like school. And as soon as I went to Mexico when I was depressed I was like whatever, it doesn’t really matter. So I had to push myself to get myself back up when I got here in regards to keeping on going with high school and getting myself a job and finding out what I want to do.

Interviewer: Do you think you’ll go back to college?

Daniela I: I think so. Maybe something simple. Maybe something like psychology, something I’m interested in. Not for a career but just for my own interest.

Interviewer: Did you ever try and get a license?

Daniela I: A license in the US?

Interviewer: To drive?

Daniela I: No, I don’t think I could.

Interviewer: No you couldn’t. Did you ever drive without one?

Daniela I: No but I was with friends who did. And I wanted to do it.

Interviewer: Were you scared of being deported?

Daniela I: Not where I lived. At that time I think it was calm, nobody really got deported. But I knew I couldn’t do a lot of things. I had to limit myself in regards to my dreams or things I wanted to do.

Interviewer: That must have been tough.

Daniela I: Yeah. It just gives you a poor mindset and I see why people make bad decisions because they’re limited.

Interviewer: But you did not?

Daniela I: No. I’m scared of pain and things like that so I wouldn’t be in a gang.

Interviewer: So you changed your dreams by coming here. Do you think of yourself as a Mexican? An American? Something different?

Daniela I: I feel like I’m in between. Well not an American, I don’t feel like I’m an American all the way but I’m not really a Mexican either. A lot of people here, their mentality is really different than mine. I think I’m in between.

Interviewer: Was it hard making friends when you came back here?

Daniela I: Yeah. I had no friends for two or three years. Just my family.

Interviewer: But now?

Daniela I: Yeah. Right now at my workplace I made a lot of friends.

Interviewer: And where are you working?

Daniela I: I’m working right here in TeleTech.

Interviewer: So is it because they’re similar to you?

Daniela I: Yeah. They’re really similar to me. So I think that’s why I’m friends with them.

Interviewer: Do you think speaking English, just knowing that culture, has made you a target for crime? I know you said it’s not safe.

Daniela I: It’s not. Where I would live everybody knew I was from Mexico so one time I got robbed. I worked for my family’s local business at a shop and I was selling our product and I walked home from work one day and this guy robbed me with a knife and robbed my cell phone. And everybody knew who he was. So it was just my brothers talked to him and they’re like, “You can keep the cell phone, just leave her alone. Don’t ever do that.” And I was probably a target because it’s not a dangerous area where I live. Well, back home where my family lives right now it’s not. So I was definitely a target.

Interviewer: Is it good to have your brothers here? Are they looking after you?

Daniela I: Yeah. Well now I live alone in the city. They live in the state, in the outside. So now I’m far away from them so I feel a little bit unsafe but I feel like I need to move on, I need to be independent.

Interviewer: Do you have a boyfriend now?

Daniela I: Yeah, from Mexico. On and off.

Interviewer: Do you think of starting a family at some point?

Daniela I: I don’t see myself having a family. I love animals so much. I have a cat.

Interviewer: Do you have any pets now?

Daniela I: Yeah. I have my cat with me but my dogs are back home because there’s a lot of space and I go visit them every one to two weeks. But again, I love animals. I would pick them up off the street a lot and give them to adoption centers. So I feel like maybe I might have one kid but I like animals a lot. I think I’m going to have a lot of animals when I’m able to afford my own home.

Interviewer: That’s great. Okay, well I think that we can conclude. Is there’s anything that you would like to say about your experiences in the US and coming back to Mexico?

Daniela I: Yeah. I love the US. If I would have stayed there and maybe got in the whole Dream Act situation, if I had been there to study college, I would have been much, much happier and much better off. I feel like I would have made it. So I feel bad that my mom, she couldn’t get any other job and had no choice but to come and bring us with her since we were underage. So I hate that but-

Interviewer: Did you ever think of applying for DACA?

Daniela I: Yeah but I was already in Mexico. So that happened like a year after I left. And I was like man. Oh my God, I should have stayed. I should have just stayed on the DL for a year and I would have been 18. Yeah, so I was like man, oh well. I’ll definitely apply for a green card and go back to visit family. So hopefully that gets easier.

Interviewer: Do you ever think about going back to try and go to college there?

Daniela I: I mean, I wouldn’t say no to that if I got the opportunity, honestly. But I just don’t see how.

Interviewer: Do you ever think about immigration law and how it should change?

Daniela I: Yeah. I understand it to a certain point, just a bunch of people from other countries coming in and you have to limit it. But at the same time, I just feel like it’s really, really unfair for specific situations when you actually listen to the people who are there. We were here for years, this is our home, we want to do something good for the country, not something bad. For those kind of people, obviously. There’s people who get more into crimes and things like that and aren’t doing much great for the country. So I feel for the people who are trying to do good and move on with their lives. I feel like they should get a lot more opportunities. At the end of the day they’re not going to do any harm to the country.

Interviewer: You said your sister is still there and she has children?

Daniela I: Yeah. She learned her lesson.

Interviewer: I was going to say, do you feel it’s a little unfair that she’s the one who joined the gang and she’s still there and you’re not?

Daniela I: It’s because she was older. She had her choice. And she had her kid. She had her kid when she was like 20, so she wasn’t that underage. Luckily she waited a bit. But I mean she’s definitely a good mom. She stopped all that around the age of 19 so before she even had her baby or was pregnant, she learned her lesson and left all that. So she fixed herself for the better.

Interviewer: That’s great. Well hopefully you’ll be able to go visit her soon.

Daniela I: I hope so too.

Interviewer: Thank you so much for talking with me.

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