Carlos I

Carlos I

Male, Age 20

Crossed the border at 6 seeking family reunification

US high school freshman

Caught up unwittingly with “friends” in a robbery of a drug store and deported at 15 

Left behind: father, siblings

Mexican occupation: call center worker

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Mexico City, Mexico

Carlos I

January 14, 2020

Carlos I: Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it, because no one really cares about us or actually talks about where do you live or what’s your experience, you know?

Interviewer: Yeah. We want people to hear, because it’s important to hear your experiences, and it really hopefully will elicit a lot of compassion for people. We can start by, you can just tell me… I did not survey, so I don’t know your circumstances about how you ended up leaving Mexico and coming to the US, how old you were, why you came, the crossing, that sort of thing.

Carlos I: When I left Mexico, I was six years old. Mostly I left because my dad lives there and he wanted me to live with him. I went there because of him. While I went there, I was crossed through the border, but I really don’t remember. I was six years old. I just remember that I was in a house, then they took me in a car, and then I waked up at another house, and then at another house until I got to California, I think, and that’s where my dad picked me up.

Interviewer: Did you go alone?

Carlos I: Yeah, by myself.

Interviewer: Who did you leave behind?

Carlos I: I left behind my grandpa, my cousins, my uncles. My mom, mostly, even though I haven’t lived with her, but I left my mom. Some brothers I have, also. That’s what I left behind.

Interviewer: Was it hard to leave them behind?

Carlos I: Well, I can remember that part, and it was hard. You’re a kid. You’ve been living with your grandpa for six years. You know your dad, but it’s not like you have a big memory of him or a bond with him, right? Yeah. I remember that when I left, I cried. When I got to see my father, I was joyful. I was happy.

Interviewer: You went to California?

Carlos I: Yeah. We lived in Portland, Oregon. They dropped me basically off at California. My dad just went in with a car to California, and then we went back.

Interviewer: Was he living in the US with papers? 

Carlos I: No, he doesn’t have papers. Yeah.

Interviewer: Tell me about your time in Portland.

Carlos I: It was fun. I really enjoyed it. I got to make a lot of friends there. I still talk to them. I still have more than my dad. I have cousins, uncles, aunts mostly.

Interviewer: A lot of family was already there.

Carlos I: Yeah, but most of my cousins are already US citizens since they were born there. You automatically get your papers. 

Interviewer: What was your dad doing while you were living there?

Carlos I: He worked in that time as a manager in Burger King. He was doing that. Right now he’s working, but in another restaurant, equally has a manager. I think it’s Drivers, Cruising, something like that. Yeah.

Interviewer: You went to the US, and probably you didn’t know any English.

Carlos I: Exactly.

Interviewer: Was it hard?

Carlos I: Yes, it was very hard. In that time, I’m the biggest son of my dad, and wouldn’t have someone to interact with. Mostly it was my cousin. They lived a few blocks away from us, so I just hanged out with them. Right now I can remember they were teasing me for not knowing English. It’s kind of fun once you understand, right? Yeah.

Interviewer: Did you start first grade in the US?

Carlos I: No, I started second grade, because I finished first grade here. Over there I started second grade.

Interviewer: How’d that go?

Carlos I: Well, I think it would have been worse if I didn’t have any other… I’m going to say school friends that were also from Mexico and stuff like that. They had the same problem. They didn’t know how to speak English or so, and we got all in some courses from school. That’s mostly where I ended up learning English. Yeah.

Interviewer: English as a second language courses? ESL courses?

Carlos I: Yes, I think it was.

Interviewer: Did you like school? Did you like learning?

Carlos I: Yeah. It was very fun. It was very different. Each country has a different way of their system of education. What I liked a lot is that mostly you get free lunch up in the States, and you get a lot of courses that are free, and some are… I’m going to say summer activities in school, and they’re also free. That’s very different because right here, you got to pay for them. I liked it a lot. It’s different. I remember my school, they had a big park for a court of tennis, basketball, baseball.

Interviewer: Did you play sports?

Carlos I: Yeah, I did. I loved soccer, but in that time, I also played basketball. I also, how do you call it? Running?

Interviewer: Track?

Carlos I: Yeah, I like track. Yeah, exactly, and a little bit of baseball, too. Yeah.

Interviewer: That’s cool.

Carlos I: Yeah, it is very cool.

Interviewer: How about other types of activities at school? Did you do art? Did you do music?

Carlos I: Yeah, I did music for some time. I also did chess, but they’re not my strong, right? I also did robotics, something like that. Yeah. Mostly I was up into physical education.

Interviewer: Did you make lots of friends?

Carlos I: Yeah, I remember most of them. I don’t know if they remember me, though.

Interviewer: You said your Mexican friends really helped you when you were little, helping you learn the language at all?

Carlos I: Yes.

Interviewer: Did you branch out? Did you have friends from all nationalities, races, or was it mainly did you stick with Mexican friends?

Carlos I: I stuck with everybody, like African-Americans, US citizens, Mexican people, yeah. With everybody.

Interviewer: Did you feel different?

Carlos I: I never felt different. You never feel different. In my school, there was no such thing as discrimination or harassments like that, so I felt good. I wasn’t under pressure of students or discrimination or something like that. It was very good. Yeah.

Interviewer: Did you know you were undocumented? Did you know that that would put barriers, create barriers for what you could do?

Carlos I: In that moment since I was little, I didn’t know about the barriers. I knew I didn’t have papers, but I didn’t knew the consequences of not having papers. You’re little. You would like to play and all that stuff. Basically, you’re a kid, and kids just enjoy life.

Interviewer: When did you figure it out?

Carlos I: Mostly when I came here, because in that moment I wasn’t really informed about anything. When I got deported back, I didn’t even know about such things. I thought it would be normal. I didn’t even think of having a job or a social security number, or something like that.

Interviewer: How old are you?

Carlos I: Right now I’m 20.

Interviewer: How old were you when you came back?

Carlos I: 15.

Interviewer: Why did you come back?

Carlos I: It’s a long story. I had some friends between… There were African-Americans, Mexicans. Also some from the States. I hanged out with them for a long time, but from sometime this started getting… I didn’t notice in that time, but it started getting, doing bad things and stuff like that. One day we were playing out, one of them had a car. One of them had a car. I remember it was a Corvette. An old one, though. Not like the one they have here, right?

Interviewer: Yeah, cool.

Carlos I: Yeah. What basically got me in trouble was me being with them, because we were just hanging out. Supposedly, I thought we were just hanging out in the car and taking them for a ride, but what they did is go rob a pharmacy. I remember it was a Walgreens pharmacy. Everything went bad. In that instance, I didn’t know what was happening. I thought they just wanted to buy something. The police came, and I got in trouble. There was some snitching there because the friend that was with the car, I think he found out about something and he left. I was with them.

Carlos I: That happened to be troublesome for me because one of them snitched, and they pointed out that I was there, too. Basically, I didn’t do nothing bad, but I was at the wrong place and in the wrong moment, so that got me, a bad decision to me and everything, and all that happened.

Interviewer: You were 15?

Carlos I: 15.

Interviewer: Just a child.

Carlos I: Yeah. Teenagers. Brand new teenager.

Interviewer: Were you part of a gang?

Carlos I: No, but they were, but I didn’t know that. After, they told me. The one that I stuck with, he actually told me, “Hey, you know what? After they snitch,” and he knew, he was like, “Hey, you know what? You’re about to get in trouble. We’re in a gang.” I really don’t remember the name of the gang. They robbed, and they were just out for some money. I think in that moment, I didn’t realize, but they took drugs.

Interviewer: Did they have guns?

Carlos I: I didn’t see any. I was just like blind. When I got there, I was blind. I didn’t see nothing bad. That’s why I didn’t suspect anything at the moment until this guy told me.

Interviewer: Had you been in trouble before?

Carlos I: In school, but not big, big trouble. Since I’m really playful and anxious, so I need to do something to keep myself calm. In that moment, we had BB guns, and I didn’t know that was bad, bringing them to school. I was getting suspended for that. Also one time, one of our friends took the little skateboards. I don’t remember what the name was, but you can handle it with your fingers.

Carlos I: We took all his skateboards from his backpack when we were in recess. What happened, one of them who I didn’t know who were just going to play with them. At the end, they told him. His name was Lucious. They told him, “Hey.” They put me out, like if I were the one who was stealing this stuff. That was like, “Lucious, Carlos I stole your stuff,” and he got mad. He even hit me, but it’s like I didn’t even… It’s like, “Bro.” It’s like, “Why are you doing this?” Then they explained it to me. Since my grandma… I mostly lived with my grandma back in the States.

Carlos I: She didn’t know English, so every time I was in trouble, my grandma had to go for me to school and stuff like that. They had one of our friends translate to her what the teacher or principal was saying.

Interviewer: Your dad wasn’t around?

Carlos I: He wasn’t that around because he was working. He mostly works all day, probably.

Interviewer: It was you and your grandma and dad in your house?

Carlos I: Yeah, basically. Not really that much in the house, because when I got there, my dad was hooked up with a girl. I think she was here from Mexico, too. Probably, I think. They were together, but that woman, she had a kid. His name was Eduardo, but he was a US citizen. He’s three years older than me. We got into fights a lot, and she got tired of me. She even kicked us out. For a few months, it was me and my dad only before my grandma went to the States. After that, after my grandma got there, I was just living with my grandma most of the time.

Carlos I: My dad visited me when he got kids. I used to take care of them when I was in school or my grandma was working, because she also worked. She was in  housekeeping. She had different jobs. Mostly that’s what we were living out of, from the money of my dad and the money that my grandma was taking out of the housekeeping.

Interviewer: I see.

Carlos I: Yep.

Interviewer: Your home life was a little lonely?

Carlos I: Most of the time I was lonely, yeah. Even though in that time, I enjoyed being lonely because I could go out, go to the park with my friends.

Interviewer: Hang out with your friends.

Carlos I: In school, I wasn’t bad. I was a good student, but that was one problem. I was too anxious. I was always talking, or I was doing something that got me in trouble. Yeah.

Interviewer: Okay. You get caught in this robbery that you’re unaware of. Then what? You’re 15 years old.

Carlos I: Exactly. I didn’t know what happened, but I was with a judge. I was little. I really don’t remember a lot of stuff. What I do remember is that they were aware I was a child. I don’t think if my lawyer spoke with somebody. I really don’t know all the process.

Interviewer: Did you father come to help?

Carlos I: Yeah, he did. We were afraid that he was also going to get deported of the same situation. How can I say it? Since my grandmother was working for a lot of houses, one of the-

Interviewer: She was undocumented, too?

Carlos I: Yeah, my grandma. One of the friends of my grandma that she worked in her house, she volunteered also to go help me. Basically they ran off with my dad and lawyer, and the friend, her name was LeInterviewer. I still remember her. LeInterviewer. I really don’t know the process. I was in the correctional…

Interviewer: In a juvenile correctional facility?

Carlos I: Yeah.

Interviewer: Were you with kids?

Carlos I: Yes. I was somewhere in Columbia. Columbia something.

Interviewer: In Oregon?

Carlos I: Yeah, in Portland, Oregon. What basically they told me after the 10 days, “All right, you need to come back.” I needed to come back, so that’s why they deported me. I don’t know what, but they got it, too, with the lawyer and the judge and everything, but I had to come back. After that, after my grandma knew about that, she came back immediately because she has been taking care of me for almost 19 years. Almost 20. Yeah, almost all my life.

Interviewer: When you were sent back, do you know if it was long-term departure or a deportation?

Carlos I: I just know I was deported.

Interviewer: Do you have a limit as to when you can apply for a visa to go back to the States?

Carlos I: What I found out here, it was ten years.

Interviewer: Ten years?

Carlos I: What I heard from a friend is that it also takes another ten years, so it’s basically 20. I really don’t know what the difference is. They told me ten years.

Interviewer: If it’s ten years, then you can start the process after ten years. I don’t know how long the process takes. It’s been five, right?

Carlos I: Yeah.

Interviewer: Maybe in five years, it won’t take as long as it does now. It’s curious because you’re a minor.

Carlos I: Yeah, that’s what I also thought, with some friends here, when we all talk about our lives. I was like, “Why did you get deported? You were so young.” Stuff like that. It’s like, “Bro, I don’t know. I was young. I didn’t know anything until they told me everything.” You don’t realize about things until you’re older, and so you know really what happens, and what are the laws.

Interviewer: You weren’t even young enough to know that you couldn’t get a driver’s license, or maybe you could in Oregon. I think you can, but you weren’t old enough to know what you couldn’t do as an undocumented kid.

Carlos I: Yeah.

Interviewer: Because you hadn’t experienced that. I don’t know the laws, but I imagine that since your family members were undocumented…

Carlos I: Yeah, that’s why I think my family didn’t put a lot of pressure into that, because they were also undocumented.

Interviewer: They would have been deported, as well.

Carlos I: If my dad goes, my brothers will be alone.

Interviewer: Do you have a record, or did they… given that crime, were you convicted of that crime?

Carlos I: I think not. I’m not sure. I have to ask my dad. He knows all about it, but we never talk about that stuff. We always talk about, “How are you? What you’ve been doing?”

Interviewer: Was there a trial for the crime?

Carlos I: Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think it was, but I really don’t remember that as well.

Carlos I: I don’t remember a lot of stuff, mostly because what hit me was being separated from my dad. I can tell you that with my mom and my dad, I have lived all my 20 years. You can put maybe nine, eight, your brothers… I got to see my two brothers little right now. They’re older. Some point, that’s why. Maybe I was distracted, or I don’t remember about things because I just cared about my family, about my dad and my brothers.

Carlos I: My cousins, for instance, I had a really good relationship with them. Yeah, I think that’s the most difficult part, but I had to pass on that time, you know? I really appreciate my grandpas for taking care of me, even though I’m not their child. They took care of me, and they’re still taking care of me, even though I’m older. I have my own life. I can go placed. I just go basically to sleep. I get Saturdays and Sundays off. I’m barely at their house, but I really appreciate it, that they took care of me.

Carlos I: Most of the times, I think about what would be different from living with my parents than my grandpas. It’s hard. It’s hard. Maybe when you’re a kid, you don’t realize it. You just live, but once you truly know the love for your family, for your parents, it hits you. Not having my dad and my mom when I was in my importance point of my life, like teenager right now, that I’m turning, there’s not basically… I haven’t been with my dad so he can’t support me. He can’t give me that advice, that hug that maybe you would like, right?

Carlos I: He does give me advice through the phone, but it’s not the same. He also send me money quite often, but I always say that the most important thing is being with your actual family than all the economic stuff or the money. Most important thing is the love and the relationship you have with them.

Interviewer: You’re a 15 year old kid and you’re being deported. Where do they take you? What do they do with you, the ICE?

Carlos I: I was ten days in the States before they deported me. After that, I just remember I went to the border, and my family picked me up.

Interviewer: They called your family to have them come pick you up?

Carlos I: Mostly my dad. They came to pick me up, and then we just took a flight over to Mexico City. That’s it. Being here wasn’t really easy.

Interviewer: Your family had been from Mexico City.

Carlos I: Yeah.

Interviewer: They met you at the border.

Carlos I: Yep.

Interviewer: And then they brought you back. Hopefully the ICE agents were taking care of you until you got to them. You were a minor. They must have had the responsibility to make sure that you got into proper hands. This is dangerous.

Carlos I: Yeah. Mostly on the border, there’s a lot of drug dealers and cartels and stuff like that. Now that I know of. In the moment I really didn’t know about anything. I didn’t really care about Mexico anymore. I was hoping I would stay there for a long time, grow up, get a job, probably. Finish college. Everything.

Interviewer: Your dreams in the US were to do what?

Carlos I: To study and get a job, and to live there, getting a partner, to get married, and stuff like that.

Interviewer: Who met you? Which family met you at the border?

Carlos I: It was the family from my father. My grandpas that I lived with, and some aunts.

Interviewer: Did you know them?

Carlos I: Yes. Yeah, because in here when I was little, I used to the with them a lot of time. Even here before I went to the States, I was mischief. Yeah, because I was very… To be honest, my situation in school has always been problems, problems, problems because here in Mexico I used to get into the ceilings of the schools, and throwing pencils, and hitting people, and all this stuff. That was when I was here. I usually went to a school that was most for kids that are misbehaving.

Interviewer: Even when you were six?

Carlos I: Yes. When I was six. I got expelled from a school here.

Interviewer: In kindergarten or first grade?

Carlos I: First grade. It all happened in first grade.

Interviewer: Do you think that’s why your dad brought you to the States?

Carlos I: No. He mostly wanted me back because he wanted to be with me. I don’t know a father, or maybe there are some cases, but I don’t know of a father that wouldn’t like to be with their children.

Interviewer: You never got expelled from a school in the States.

Carlos I: No, never. Yeah.

Interviewer: Great. You came back, resumed living where you had lived in the first six years of your life.

Carlos I: Yeah, in the same house.

Interviewer: Tell me how you felt.

Carlos I: It was hard because I felt sad at the moment not being with my dad and my brothers. Another part, I felt good because I had my uncles and my grandpas. One of my uncles that lived here is one of the ones that I loved the most, apart from my dad. That was a relief. You put something bad and put another good thing on top of that, it just kind of mixes, and at the end, I’m here. That’s what I think, right?

Interviewer: How far have you gotten in school? You were 15, so…

Carlos I: I think it was seventh grade.

Interviewer: Seventh?

Carlos I: Seventh. Up in the States, seventh grade, something like that. When I got here, I finished middle school. I don’t know what grade. It was eighth grade, I think. Something like that. Here, they handle it different, because you have elementary school, six years, then middle school, three years, and after that, high school that is also three years, and off to college.

Interviewer: Was it hard getting back into the school system here?

Carlos I: Yes, very hard. Very, very hard. Mostly because I was so into English and the subjects that… Well, I don’t think they differ from a lot, but obviously history isn’t the same. Most of the things aren’t the same. Civics aren’t also the same. They have different ones here or there. Spanish, they have here Spanish that’s a subject. I was like,“What are these?” They have little, I don’t know, like this. This thing right here.

Carlos I: I was like, “Where do you put that? Why do you put that?” Yeah, it was very hard for me because, for instance, I didn’t talk a lot of Spanish. I didn’t know a lot of Spanish.

Interviewer: Have you learned to read Spanish?

Carlos I: Yeah.

Interviewer: You had to.

Carlos I: Yeah. Yeah, because even right now, I don’t like to read in Spanish. I prefer English. If somebody gets me a book, “You know what? Can you get me a book, but it is English?” Because I don’t like reading in Spanish a lot, mostly because of the practice. I want to keep my English a little bit more fluid. Right now having a little bit of troubles pronouncing words and stuff like that, because it’s from the same thing. It’s not the same. You speak it every day and write it every day up in the States.

Carlos I: Over here, you speak Spanish. Here, the system of education for English is very bad. It’s very bad. I always try to hear music in English, and read books, and stuff like that, and watch movies in English because if you don’t practice it, you’ll forget it. You’ll forget it. Once you’re older, it is very difficult or is more difficult to learn a language than when you were little. 

Carlos I: They even thought it would be better if I started middle school, but from the beginning, not onto the third grade that I was supposed to be on that side. No, in first grade because I didn’t know Spanish, and most of the subjects that are needed for Spanish. I was great in English. They took my English classes away so I can retake Spanish, but on second level. They were testing me if to keep me on third grade, or going back to first grade. I did good. My grades were good. You know what? Keeping them there.

Carlos I: I finished middle school. What’s been a little bit of problem is high school, because I was still… It’s not easy to forget things. In that moment, school was like, I care about it, but not 100%. Since I like soccer, I used to go and play soccer in my time in class and all that. That was a problem. The distraction, soccer, then all those things I didn’t know and stuff like that. They even paid me classes for Spanish and for another subject into Spanish, so I didn’t really have a hard time.

Carlos I: I spent two years in those classes. After that, I’m normal. I can talk Spanish normally and all that stuff.

Interviewer: How far have you gotten in high school?

Carlos I: Let’s say I finished. I already went past through the last grade, that is the third grade here, but I still haven’t passed six subjects. I don’t have my certificates, though. I haven’t finished high school still.

Interviewer: Will you?

Carlos I: Yeah, I will, and I want to.

Interviewer: Does it mean taking tests, or does it mean actually taking courses?

Carlos I: Taking the test of the subjects that you haven’t passed, and most of them are very difficult. I studied in my school. It’s from the, I don’t know if you heard of Instituto de Politico Nacional.

Interviewer: Yeah.

Carlos I: Yeah. It’s the high schools from that institute. All of them have specialties. They got construction, they got electricity. There’s, how can I say it? There’s also for the planes, and how to fix them for mechanics, cars. There’s another one, but I really don’t know. It’s industrial processes or something like that. That would be the translation of what I know of.

Interviewer: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Carlos I: I got electricity, but the subjects that I failed on are the hardest ones. To be true, I have been trying to finish it for five years. From the point I got into school, first grade, second grade, and third grade, I have taken five years and counting. I really want to finish high school, because it helps speaking English, mostly because they don’t have a lot of jobs that are well paid here. Having to know or getting to speak English is a bonus. Right now, I’m in a job that, they don’t pay you that bad.

Carlos I: If you’re single, you don’t have kids, it’s okay, but once you have a family, no. It’s not a lot of money for having a family. It’s just for one person.

Interviewer: What is that job?

Carlos I: It’s a call center right here. Teletech, right there.

Interviewer: How long you been working there?

Carlos I: Right now I have two months, but I’ve been working into Vista, CompuCom, CCSI, it’s one right there on that street.

Interviewer: Why do you keep changing?

Carlos I: On the first one, my first job was 2017. I was still studying. In that time, I didn’t have my subjects, not a pass or anything. I was good. I always studied in the afternoon. It was from 2:00 to 10:00. I worked from 8:00 to 3:00. I was half-time, but I really couldn’t… It was a lot of pressure, and I was like, “You know what? I’m going to quit. It’s okay. I may want money, but I think it’s not the time.” Then after that, I worked at CompuCom. That’s more technical service related. It’s not like you’re assisting customers.

Carlos I: You’re assisting the users of a company, the people who work there, not the customers. I like that a lot. It’s more technical support. It’s better than customer service. Customer service, you get a lot of angry customers, and they yell at you, and all that stuff. That’s where I worked. I worked there six months. That was one year after. In that time, I already finished, partially finished school. I was there to make money, because I decided that it was time for me to work, and I started making money.

Carlos I: In that point, I had some problems with my grandma and my grandpa, so I left the house. I met there in CompuCom before that a guy, and we were best friends. We were always together. He was like, “Hey, if anything happens, you can go to my house, to my crib,” and all that stuff. Like, “Okay, bet.” We even took our stuff, my stuff from my house all the way to his house. It’s a two-hour trip.

Interviewer: Wow.

Carlos I: I was good with him, but in that moment something happened. I started drinking and stuff, so I really much care less for my job, started going down, and stuff like that. I got fired eventually.

Interviewer: Were you depressed?

Carlos I: Kind of, because the problems that I also had with my family took over the situation. With him, I bought a lot of stuff. I bought shoes, shirts, and all that stuff. I was living with him until August. That’s when my mom contacted me. I was just going to visit her for two or three weeks, but I stayed two months. I stayed two months with her and with my brothers. Half- brothers, if I can say that. After I came back with this guy again, something happened.

Carlos I: When we were together, he didn’t hang out with people like robbers and stuff like that, but when I was back, you can see all the people right there. Changing things from the cars, and stealing them, stuff like that. Yeah. I don’t know what happened in his head in that moment, but he threw me from his house basically with nothing. I didn’t have anything left. From that, I was living on different towns, if you can say. Towns? Until I got back with my grandpas. We arrange things again, and we got into an agreement.

Carlos I: I have been living with them since that. That’s mostly what-

Interviewer: Are you staying out of trouble?

Carlos I: Yes, totally. No more trouble. After that incident, I worked here at CCSI, but I didn’t like it because the supervisors didn’t have any, how can I say it? They didn’t have a good organization, for example. You could have taken… They set your breaks and lunch in certain times. For example, I entered at 2:00. I had my first break for 15 minutes from 3:00 to 3:15. Then I had my lunch from, it was half an hour, by the way, from 4:00 for 4:30. I had my second break until 9:00 to 9:15, and I didn’t like that.

Carlos I: When you had your days off, there wasn’t a way that they could tell you. When you got into the floor, it was like, “Why do you come? You got your day today. You’re not supposed to come.” I was like, “Why don’t you tell us before?” A day after, at least. I mean a day before. Sorry. I didn’t like that. The payment was weekly. It was not that bad, but I didn’t like it. That’s when I applied here at T-Tech. I like it so far. It’s good, and the best thing is that I don’t have credentials, so I’m not working.

Interviewer: What does that mean?

Carlos I: Yeah. Basically in call centers, you have 60 people, and your max is for 70. A new wave comes in, maybe 15 people, and the five people that are left… Since you already took all of the capacity you’re supposed to have for agents, the rest of them don’t have credentials, so you don’t do anything. You don’t work. Let’s say you don’t work. You just wake up to come to work and not do anything. That’s what not having credentials means.

Interviewer: You’re getting paid for nothing?

Carlos I: Exactly. I was like, “Okay, I’ll take it.” Even so, in training, I consider myself as one of the best of all my wave, because I have the knowledge, and even though I don’t do nothing, they ask me, “Hey, how do you do this? What’s this?” I can tell them. That’s not a problem to me. If I get my credential today, it’s like, “You know what? Yeah. Give me them, I’ll start working like I’m supposed to be.” You go to work to have money. That work, if it applies some responsibilities, you have to do them, because otherwise, why would you be working?

Carlos I: If you don’t want to have responsibilities, you rather be something else, right?

Interviewer: What about socially? Has it been hard to adjust socially, make friends, girlfriends?

Carlos I: No. No. The people I have met, they actually helped me here. They helped me study and everything, so that wasn’t a problem at all.

Interviewer: What do you miss most?

Carlos I: My dad. I miss my dad. Yeah. I miss him. I remember when we used to go to field trips, and when he took me to his job, when we went to go watch movies, to the parks, and stuff like that. It’s not like anymore, right?

Interviewer: Neither of you go?

Carlos I: We talk through Messenger, WhatsApp, and through phone, right? I call him or he calls me, and we keep in touch like that. That’s the way we can talk with each other, but right now since I don’t have a phone, it’s a little bit harder. If you don’t have a phone, you don’t have access to WhatsApp and Messenger. You have to go to a computer, maybe in your house, maybe in the local. Sometimes you don’t have that time to actually go there, like having your cell phone right on hand. Having mobile beta or wifi is very different.

Carlos I: You can go on the metro, or go on the metro bus, or in a bus, in a car, and still be talking with him. In this case, I have to be in a certain spot to actually talk to him. Yeah.

Interviewer: What are your dreams now, now that you’re here?

Carlos I: I want to, for an instance, the most important one is finish high school. After that, I want to study software engineer, and I like it a lot. I like it a lot. I want to get into a good job. Right now, I have a girlfriend. When I needed it, she was there for me. I have a very good relationship with her, and I feel a lot of love for her. If things can happen in the future, I’m willing to take it. I’d take it. I’ll take it because not a lot of girls will help you the way she helped me, because most of them are not interested on who you are or what you need, and she was in the moment when I needed it.

Carlos I: That’s why I feel a lot of love for her. I want to go back to the States, even though I know it’s harder, and getting a job, but I really want to go with my dad, to be with my dad. Yeah. I want to be with him, with my brothers. I want to spend more time in my life with them. The time I didn’t have in the past, I want to have it in the future.

Interviewer: Is there anything that you would like to say to people about you and your experiences that you haven’t said yet? Is there anything you want to leave with?

Carlos I: Mostly a lot of immigrants don’t have where to go or people to care them. What I’ve learned is that there is always a person who can take care of you. There’s always good people that care for you. You know what? After all the problems, everything, I believe in God, I think God puts the correct way so you can live again, so you will not feel depressed. You just got to believe. You got to have faith that everything is going to be all right at the end of the day, and that even if you feel alone, you’re not alone.

Carlos I: There’s always somebody taking care of you. Even though if you don’t know them, or you haven’t seen them, there’s always somebody that takes care of you.

Interviewer: That’s great. Thank you so much.